I was born, raised, and educated in The South. Lived here my whole life. I know I’m repeating myself.

Jimmy Carter and Maureen Dowd and Hank Johnson reveal more about themselves than about others. None of these people who claim that the opponents to Barack Obama’s policies has offered any direct evidence of racism. Joe Wilson may be a racist .I don’t know. I’ve never met the man, but the phrase “you lie” is not inherently racist, and he did not say “you lie boy”. That was in Maureen Dowd’s head. Maybe she needs to ask some probing questions of herself.

I’m white, I’m Southern, I believe Barack Obama is a Marxist, and I oppose most of his policies. I am not a racist. I am not a bigot. My best friend growing up, Johnathan Freemont, was black. I assume he still is, I just haven’t seen him in years. In high school one of my friends lived with me at my parents house for a year, also black. I have many coworkers who are black that I have worked with for years, whom I like very much. I don’t have any black friends currently, but I only have two friends.

I’m tired of being called a racist. I know if I confronted these people they would say “Oh, I don’t mean you, and that’s the problem. They don’t say who they do mean. These people are the ones causing race problems in this country.

I’m tired of Jimmy Carter. I’m a Georgian and the man has embarrassed us for far to long. Can’t he just go back to Plains and retire?

Senator, you recently spoke disparagingly about southern Republican politicians, saying that “They get on TV and go ‘errrr, ‘errrrr.” You weren’t real clear on exactly what the problem with southern politicians is, but you seem to be questioning either their intelligence or their ability, because they are from the south. Or maybe you believe that the South has never contributed to American culture, so your constituents can’t possibly relate to folk from the South.

Now, I grew up in Georgia, I was educated here, and I intend to live my entire life in the South. All my life I have heard about how ignorant, racist, misogynistic, and generally backwards we are down here. So I have a deal for you and anyone else who believes these things about those of us from the South. We will take a step back and stay out of your way and form a southern conservative party or only vote for Blue Dog Democrats, but first there are a few things you need to do for us.

Don’t come down here and vacation on our beaches or play golf on our courses. Do not watch the Masters in April. Don’t shop at Home Depot or Lowe’s, and don’t drink Coke. While you’re at it, don’t listen to Jazz, Blues, Rock and Roll, or R N B. Don’t eat barbecue. The next time you give a speech, don’t qoute the Reverend Martin Luther King, and be sure not to give that speech at Duke, Emory, Vanderbilt, or Tulane. Don’t go to Mardi Gras, at least not in New Orleans. Dont read anything written by William Faulkner, Harper Lee, Tennessee Williams, or Mark Twain. Don’t watch any Nascar event from Charlotte, Daytona, Atlanta, or Taladega. Don’t watch the Sugar, Cotton, Orange, Gator, or Peach (Chick-Fil-A) Bowl. Don’t laugh at the jokes of Jeff Foxworthy, Larry the Cable Guy, or Ron White. The next time you travel, do not fly Delta Airlines and be sure not to have a connecting flight at Hartsfield-Jackson.

If you are not willing to accept this, then you should apologize to George Bush, Bill Clinton, Al Gore, Jimmy Carter, Newt Gingrich, Sam Nunn, and posthumously to Dwight Eisenhower, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison. Not all Republicans, but all southern.

If you are willing to accept these terms, then, in the immortal words of Lynyrd Skynyrd “a southern man don’t need him around anyhow”.

Fortunately you’re not running for re-election.